The Alternative Christmas Message

As sure as your Nan being a little racist at some point on Christmas Day, the subject of The Bible is one that can invoke debate like no other book in history. I shall try and briefly entertain you with my take on it in the form of an alternative Christmas message shrouded in atheism and plagiarism.

To me it’s undeniable that Religion has restricted our growth as a species, it’s undeniable that over the years more people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason, and it’s undeniable that if these religious folk chose to love one another rather than an imaginary God the world would be a better place. That should be the simple Christmas message right there. However, since the start of The Chronicles Of Hope series hardly a week has gone by without receiving abuse from religious individuals who can’t accept my right to an opinion. Whether being called a ‘gaytheist’, or being told that if God doesn’t call going to punish me he will call coming back, it seems religious people have a tendency to get fabulously offended.

So let’s look at their mantra. I could try and write increasingly hard-hitting literature for the next fifty years (I’m not going to as it would send me insane), and I would still not reach anywhere near the influence of the most successful Science Fiction book of all time, yes The Bible. I could never criticise it as a fine work of literature. The Bible is incredibly well written, an epic masterpiece. Some of the proverbs in there are original, great and visionary. Also it’s given us so many great ideas and lessons on how to form a society, so we should be grateful for that. The depth of imagination involved in the fiction is also laudable. Imagining that there’s this invisible man in the sky, an invisible man who watches over us, a man with a list of ten things we shouldn’t do, that if we do any of these ten things we’ll go to hell (*plagiarism* *Carlin*). That depth of character creation is commendable. From this good start though I think they then missed a trick, ‘they’ probably being the religious and political bigwigs who got together to write this masterpiece a few thousand years ago. The God in the Old Testament is a jealous, petty, vindictive, misogynistic, homophobic, racist, genocidal bully (*plagiarism* *dawkins*). If they had just sharpened up this character development the legacy of religion and the path it set humanity onto could have been so different. Why didn’t they make this God a nice humanitarian man? Or better still a woman, given that 99% of all the negativity in this world was established or initiated by men. We’ll probably never know the answer. Maybe they were evil visionaries who wanted the book to create divisions within society, keeping the little folk fighting amongst themselves, and thus allowing the rich and powerful to become even more rich and powerful. Or maybe that gives them too much credit, that we were simply less intellectually advanced beings then so the character creation was just naively inept and short-sighted. Regardless, the consequences of the book will always be negative, given that the impact has been to brainwash, control, and restrict the development of our species.

Given that you only live once for 80 odd years Jean Paul Sartre probably had the right idea, a man so thoroughly atheist that he believed the whole subject of God to be beneath discussion. Fuck Religion, just enjoy your life, do what you want as long as it hurts no one else, and be kind to people, there’s the alternative christmas message. There’s more goodness at the heart of that than the intent of all Ten Commandments put together.

p.s. I’ve just released the 2nd book in The Chronicles Of Hope series, ‘2083’, featuring Frank Noon as a revolutionary, atheist, visionary, humanitarian, working class genius politician. A recent review said that “Frank Noon is like Carlin, Dawkins and Darwin rolled into one” which, as you can tell from my plagiarism in this message, I took as a huge compliment. 2082, the first book in The Chronicles Of Hope series, was an Amazon bestseller, and that eBook is still 99p. The series will probably be five books altogether, the seminal publication to be ‘2084’. The plan is to release that around the time of the general election in the UK in 2015, with Frank pushed as a political alternative. It’ll probably get me arrested so I’d be so grateful if you could spread the word about the books where you can, so I can see them flourish whilst I’m free. Thanks.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Pessimism

This is my first blog for a month or so, partly because I’m incredibly busy finishing the second book in The Chronicles of Hope series (2083, out in October), partly because an annoying reminder in my timetable keeps prompting me I need to write a blog (for search engine optimisation purposes, whatever that is), and partly because I’m not convinced anyone really reads them.

Either way instead of just writing one word and satisfying the search engine optimisation I’ve found an hour to rattle on quickly about some stuff, and fresh in my mind are the subjects of moaning and complaining. We have a new apprentice at work and she delights in pulling me up on how often I moan. Apparently it’s a lot. I think that dealing with complainants who lack a perspective so greatly as to formally complain that the seagulls were making too much noise one day (this actually happened) gives me a pretty solid defence. But either way she’s right, I do moan, and what’s more I think I enjoy moaning and think being a pessimist is great. I’m a happy person but always expect the worst. If the worst comes I’m in a great place to deal with it, if it doesn’t come I’m ecstatically surprised and on a bigger high than I would’ve been if expecting everything to be just dandy.

As much as I’m a pretty serious pessimist (I received some good news recently that ‘2082’ was being featured on the US Amazon Daily Deal that genuinely almost gave me a panic attack) and like to moan, I rarely complain and feel extreme guilt whenever I do so. I don’t know if that makes me some kind of cowardly whinger but I always try to inject perspective into a situation before it gets to the complaining stage, the stage at which you actively cause other people annoyance.

I think that maybe I’ve been battered into this submissive pessimistic state by the reality of the world around us. It’s unfathomably sad that children are starving in their millions because of the decisions that our world leaders have made over the last couple of hundred years. It’s unfathomably sad that some people, most with a disease (addiction) or a mental illness, have nowhere to live and have to sleep outside on the street. It’s unfathomably sad that some people are cruel to animals, that they’re so cowardly they choose to inflict pain onto a defenceless creature. Women in bhurkas, the look on a guide dogs face, the list goes on and this world is one that requires a defence mechanism.

George Carlin had a great one, almost becoming his own therapist in a way by noting the need to consciously detach himself from such thoughts and try to find the humour in them, the trick simply ‘not to give a fuck’. I see the logic in that, yes you should do what your heart and conscience tells you to order to try and change things, but underneath it not giving a fuck seems one of the keys to a happy life.

Apologies if this is rambling nonsense, if so please disregard large swathes of it and be assured that ‘2083’, out in October, is a far more cogent read. Thanks

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Outrageous Nonsense

A quick search on google for the word outraged in just the last week throws up the following offerings. Russia outraged at Latvia ban on Soviet symbols, Neighbours outraged at Lakeview police (I assume not the tv programme), Educators outraged at visa price hikes, Villagers outraged at sign thefts, Italy outraged at football star Fabrizio Miccoli’s mob links, GCHQ staff outraged at criticism of listening techniques, Mammooty fans outraged at solar case allegations (free book to anyone who knows what any of that sentence means), Mother outraged at Hidalgo County deputies, Defence force outraged at sex scandal, Slain Tulsa man’s family outraged at killer’s release, Deen fans outraged at food network for dumping celebrity cook (I don’t know what Deen is but I’d go out of my way to avoid a fan), Newberg parents outraged at Facebook cyberbullying page, Outrage at Harriet Harman’s anti-ginger slander, Robert Breeze outraged at referring to himself in the third person.

Ok so I made the last one up but the penultimate one i’m qualified to feel outraged about having hair of the rouge variety. Being relatively sane i’m obviously not outraged by whatever the anti-ginger slander was, but am actually now outraged at my instinctive use of the word rouge. But these days it does appear that people can’t wait to be outraged by something. The dictionary definition is to ‘arouse fierce anger, shock or indignation’. So where do these angry shocked people come from? Well, there are a lot of people in this world and someone will always be outraged. It also needs to be noted that the media again love nothing more than ignoring the views of the majority in the middle in order to instead highlight the views of the outraged minority. A balanced opinion does not create headlines, so many media outlets choose to ignore the real response.

What genuinely outraged people don’t seem to grasp is that if they choose to be offended, nothing happens, it doesn’t change a thing, all that happens is that they are offended. That said there must be a powerful source spawning these outraged folk. Maybe the answer lies with the scourge that is political correctness, the oppression of our intellectual movement that sees that fewer and fewer people are saying anything of note anymore just in case anyone else get’s offended. It’s given every complainer and whiner the “right” to be offended by anything they choose, and the worrying impact of that is that society has reacted to this scourge by creating legislation about offending people. It seems ludicrous that it’s become an offense to offend people. Being offended is subjective and has everything to do with you as an individual or a collective, or a group or a society or a community. Your moral conditioning, your religious beliefs. What offends me may not offend you. And we’ve actually made laws about this. A few months ago a man was jailed for 8 months for wearing a t-shirt bearing an offensive slogan.The law the man was charged with is over 25 years old and comes from the Public Order Act 1986, stating that ‘a person is guilty of an offence if he/she displays any writing, sign or other visible representation which is threatening, abusive or insulting, thereby causing that or another person harassment, alarm or distress’. The wording of this particular law means that someone just needs to be offended enough to report you and then the police are obliged to investigate and pursue a disposal .i.e. a caution or court charge/prison. So all it takes is for one or more people to be sufficiently offended enough to report you and the police are involved. Just watch points of view to see what people choose to get offended by nowadays and you’ll realise what a frightening thought that is.

For the minority that do choose to feel offended or outraged on a regular basis there are options available to make your life a more enjoyable one. One way is to desensitise. When things are genuinely offensive to me such as harming children or animals I do everything in my power to desensitise myself from the situation rather than feel outraged, aware that it’s not a positive emotion to experience. You can also try to embrace the unique British sense of humour and try to find comedy in such nonsense, or try and force some perspective into such situations. When you’re feeling offended or outraged about something consider how lucky you are to be alive and living in a developed country, when a lot of the world’s population sleep without a roof over their head or with sufficient food to fuel them. Remember also that words are just that, words. As much as the defenders of political correctness would like you to believe, words do not and cannot harm anyone. Words can only hurt your feelings if and only if that person allows them to hurt his/hers feelings, though it should also be noted that in some cases there is a fine line between feeling offended and actually being bullied, which is obviously abhorrent and unacceptable.

I can’t fashion a link to the book smoothly into this blog so I’ll just say a big thank you to anyone who has come on board and bought the first book in The Chronicles of Hope series, ‘2082’. I’m aware it’s not a literary masterpiece but please stick with it, the second book ‘2083’ is out in October and is far sharper with the story progressing greatly. My intention is merely to spread the positive humanitarian word as far as possible so please continue to help spread the word. Thanks

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Freedom Of Speech

If you work for the Daily Telegraph, kill yourself. There is no rationalisation for what you do and you are Satan’s little helpers, filling the world with violent garbage, you are fucked and you are fucking us, kill yourself it’s the only way to save your fucking soul. That’s of course paraphrasing Bill Hicks’ rant against marketing, and also my rant against the daily mail, but the fuel to this fire is that the Daily Telegraph last week removed a blog of mine from their website and suspended my account indefinitely. The blog in question was one about kindness and how everyone should seek to be kind to each other during their one life on Earth, highlighting both the selfless and selfish perks of doing so. I reiterated my belief that I’ve never thought Religion to be a great promoter of the simple human act that would drive moral emphasis in a utopian society, that act of being kind, given that the God in the Old Testament a jealous, petty, vindictive, misogynistic, homophobic, racist, and genocidal bully. Ok I got a little got carried away, largely because I love antagonizing conservative telegraph types (I’d employ a homosexual dance troupe to follow them around 24/7 given the necessary funding). Feeling the need to query the suspension they replied with the following email: Dear Mr Breeze, thank you for contacting us, following your recent enquiry I can confirm that your access is now restricted. We are unable to enter into any further discussion/dispute regarding actions taken against users.

So that’s that, the telegraph establishment and their stuffy readership obviously don’t take kindly to having their cowardly, traditional, narrow-minded opinions questioned. More of a worry than my personal anguish is the fact that this week another person was sentenced for a joke tweet, following on from the other well publicized cases over the last couple of years with children being jailed for posting about riots on facebook and for joking about missing schoolgirls on facebook. Not only should a civilized society never be allowed to imprison someone for having an opinion, however morally abhorrent that opinion might be, how worrying is it that a lot of people don’t seem intelligent enough to grasp the concept of a joke? It’s pretty basic, when someone says something to you as a joke most commonly they don’t mean what they say, or they are exaggerating what they say for comic effect. If you mean what you say then it’s not a joke. If the subject, observer, or listener of any joke understands this then they surely shouldn’t take offence. Having a sense of humour is essential in this world we currently live in to shield yourself from the injustice and reality of the mess that surrounds us. If an evolved 21st century human being doesn’t understand this and the concept of a joke then they will simply join the ranks of those with no sense of humour who spend their lives getting offended. It’s a vicious cycle full of offence (picture any banker on a Boris bike), a negative feeling which you can choose not to experience. The hope is that people will question more and uncover more situations of such hypocrisy and injustice. The hope is that people will challenge situations where freedom of speech injustices occur. Frankie Boyle did exactly this not so long ago and thankfully won his case. The hope is that the wider public will take on board that it doesn’t matter if the majority consider an opinion to vile, misguided, or ignorant; that they are all just opinions. Everyone has the freedom of choice to disagree with an opinion rather than get offended by it. And if the subject isn’t wise enough to do this then let’s all make jokes about and laugh at these morons who choose to get offended, just to make ourselves feel a little more sane.

It seems that the world is under an increasingly oppressive cloud and rule, edging ever closer to an Orwellian existence, with the revelation this week that the US government have been collecting personal data such as phone records for a number of years. In ‘2082’, the first book in The Chronicles of Hope trilogy, this invasion of privacy and freedoms is exploited in the crudest manner possible by the ruling classes around the world. With overpopulation the biggest burden in late 21st century society, humans decide to utilise newly found planets that are habitable for human life. With the decision made to populate such planets with undesirable members of society, Frank Noon’s brief is to manage and rehabilitate a group of people who have been weeded out by a personality machine that collates personal data.

‘2082’ is an Amazon bestselling book and is still just 99p for a limited time. I’m fighting to keep it that way for a good while longer, with my intention merely that people think about some of the topics raised. As long as people keep spreading the word as wide as possible it’ll help me keep the price as low as I can for as long as I can. Thanks

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Response

A Kind Of Hope For Mankind?

If you’re kind to people most things get easier in life. Whether it’s calculated or not, selfless or merely because it makes you feel better about yourself, the end justifies the means as it’ll open doors and often fuel reciprocal kindness. What’s more it’s something that most of us can easily work into our daily lives. You can be mischievous but still be kind, you can be a drug addict but still be kind, you can be a rock n roll star but still be kind, you can be a sex addict and still be kind (using blow up dolls a handy hint), you can even be a gangster or serial killer and still be kind (targeting bankers and media executives a handy hint).

I’ve never thought that Religion is a great promoter of the simple human act that would drive moral emphasis in a utopian society, that act of being kind. Religion as a concept is divisive and restrictive, with the leader (God I believe) in the Old Testament a jealous, petty, vindictive, misogynistic, homophobic, racist, and genocidal bully (plagiarised twice, latterly from page 44 of an excruciating interview here. Approximately two million years ago (quite a while before that nasty God got involved and tried to plagiarise evolution, much in the same way I’m plagiarising this next passage), a fledgling species known as Homo habilis emerged on the great plains of Africa. At the same time that these four-foot-tall, bipedal apes appeared, a period of global cooling produced vast, open environments. This climate change event ultimately forced our hominid ancestors to adapt to a new way of life or perish entirely. Since they lacked the ability to take down large game, like the ferocious carnivores of the early Pleistocene, the solution they hit upon was scavenging the carcasses of recently killed large mammals. However, this survival strategy brought an entirely new set of challenges: Individuals now had to coordinate their behaviors, work together, and learn how to share. For apes living in the dense rainforest, the search for ripe fruit and nuts was largely an individual activity. But on the plains, our ancestors needed to travel in groups to survive, and the act of scavenging from a single animal carcass forced proto-humans to learn to tolerate each other and allow each other a fair share. This resulted in a form of social selection that favored cooperation: “Individuals who attempted to hog all of the food at a scavenged carcass would be actively repelled by others and perhaps shunned in other ways as well,” writes Michael Tomasello, an American psychologist.

This new research suggests that initially our species succeeded because of traits like sharing and compassion and kindness. Put simply, those communities flourished best, produced the greatest number of offspring, and thus shaped humanity. Fast forward to now and how have we capitalised on that promising start? Well, society seems to be dominated by the rich, with greedy, elitist, corporate ideologies and an obsession with material goods and celebrity. It’s probably not sensationalising the situation too much to suggest that continuing upon that path will probably see the downfall of the human race at some point in the far future. As a majority we seemed to choose material goods and gadgets (letting fellow humans suffer immeasurably to churn out the latest fashions) over a less materialistic world based around the notion of being kind to each other. One of the reasons for this may have been that most corporate workplaces aren’t in sync with our evolutionary roots and aren’t overly concerned about the success of the human race. Corporate culture imposes uniformity and compliance over notions of cooperation and kindness.

The hope comes from a growing corporate culture based on a new financial model known as mutual organization or the cooperative, a modern institution that has much in common with the collective tribal heritage of our species. Worker-owned cooperatives are regionally distinct and organized around their constituent members. As a result, worker co-ops develop unique cultures that could be expected to better promote a shared identity among all members of the group. This shared identity would give rise to greater trust and collaboration without the need for centralised control. Worker-owned cooperatives focus on maximizing value for their members, thus the cooperative is operated by and for the local community, a goal much more consistent with our evolutionary heritage. As worker-owned cooperatives continue to gain prominence around the world, we may ultimately witness the downfall of Carnegie’s “law of competition” and a return to the collaborative environments that the human species has long called home.

Frank Noon would love to associate with a humankind that has kindness as its motivating force. One that doesn’t need religion to control it, one that instead educates its young with a strong moral guidance based around notions of compassion and kindness. An honest society based on intelligent, scientific reason rather than fiction, a society that perpetuates simply the correct and proper view that we can make sense of the world using reason, experience and share human values and that we can live good kind lives without religious or superstitious beliefs. As Frank says in 2082 ‘It’d be such a step forward in human civilisation’.

2082, the first book in The Chronicles of Hope series, is an Amazon bestseller and is still just 99p. I’m fighting to keep it that way, with the intention merely that it might motivate people to question everything a little more. Please spread the word, and watch this space for updates about the upcoming release of 2083, and for a unique chance to become part of Frank’s revolution. Thanks.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Religion a mental illness?

When I was younger I spent a lot of time in the presence of a tubby older man called Lenny. Lenny was always there for me. He used to take me for meals and we used to nibble on most food together, thus explaining his portly appearance. After mealtime we then often used to take a nap together, where I often delighted in the comfort of Lenny’s rotund belly. Before Lenny is investigated as rigorously as I imagine Timmy Mallet must be currently, I must point out that Lenny was my invisible friend. He left my head aged about four when I realized two imaginary friends, alongside a need to add tangible real friends, was a high maintenance balance to maintain. He was elbowed out of my imagination by the other invisible friend, a case of bad winning over good given that my other imaginary friend was a jealous, vindictive, misogynistic, homophobic, racist, genocidal bully. I guess it was peer pressure that made me choose Jesus over Lenny. Hanging around with Jesus involved going to a Sunday school, I got fed better than with Lenny and briefly fell in love with a girl called Alice who shared a love for my invisible friend. When I reached the age of reason, about aged 8, Jesus also got flung onto the scrapheap alongside Lenny, Alice and my heart after she cast me aside.

The point is that a large proportion of the world’s population are happy to keep that one imaginary friend for their entire lifetime, which seems like a disorder of sorts. Frank Noon is a devout atheist who strongly believes that religion brainwashes us, controls us, divides us, and restricts our growth as a species. It hurts him that we’ve been afforded great, complicated, intricate minds, and yet we’ve completely squandered that gift and let ourselves be controlled by things like religion and superstition. In one of his diatribes he hits on the notion that religion is almost a mental illness. Put simply he argues that any faith not based on evidence could be deemed a mental illness, and that ‘it’s undeniable that if you think there’s a man up in the sky keeping score of everything you do then you can’t be entirely sane’. He sees praying as some kind of game, that the rules of probability means they’ll get half the things they pray for and half not, and that the way they then simply write off the things they don’t get is akin to a mental illness. He also notes how people who believe in UFOs are ridiculed as laughing stocks, but that if you actually stop to assess it these people are far more credible than those who believe in God, as there’s genuinely more evidence and likelihood of some kind of alien activity in our universe. As he can often do he facetiously takes things to extremes by suggesting that if religious brainwashing or fanaticism is seen as a mental disorder in law then these people could finally get some treatment, but essentially he’d just love to associate with a humankind that doesn’t need religion to control it, a society that instead educates its young with a strong moral guidance.

The Chronicles of Hope is a series of books based in 2080’s. The first book, ’2082′, sees an experimental intergalactic project when the government get the chance to colonise a recently discovered planet that’s habitable for human life. Fuelled by overpopulation on Earth making life increasingly unsustainable they offer Frank the chance to lead the project, largely because of the stir caused by a speech he does on climate change and global warming. The first chapter including that speech is free to read here. During the speech he fires off about religion and how he sees it as a far bigger threat to the world than global warming. Off the back of such a controversial speech the government see the perfect fit between their project and the chance to make Frank disappear for a while, and Frank decides he has to accept their offer in order to secure the financial future of his family. ‘2082’ is still just 99p to buy in ebook format.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Pretentiousness

There can’t be many things more galling in this world than pretentious children. On my tube the other day there was a child, floppy looking and no older than 8, who thought he was it. He initially caught my attention by reading a paper in an adult manner. He held it up in front of his face and even licked his fingers at one point before turning one of the pages. It’s a fine line between such a scene being humorously charming and intensely annoying, and he quickly slipped into the latter category when his friend, also too young to have any opinion worth listening to, sat down next to him. As they discussed an article together as if UN head honcho’s I was waiting for one of them to spark up a pipe, when, low and behold, a third friend appeared wielding a musical instrument that clattered into my aging knee.

It got me thinking about just how pathetic a human trait pretentiousness is. Hate, envy, betrayal, greed, selfishness, and intolerance can all lay claim to being more negative characteristics, but at least they involve real, genuine, useful, tangible emotions and feelings. Pretentiousness is nothing, as useful as bacon in Baghdad. I struggle to think of one possible advantage of ‘being pretentious’, other than it maybe being a useful title for a documentary focusing on the lives of rockstar children living in East London.

It seems to drive so many negative behaviourisms. The royal definition is ‘attempting to impress by affecting greater importance, talent, culture, than is actually possessed’. Even more pathetic when viewed in written form, it also spawns snobbery, superficiality, and a lack of humility. A pretentious person’s whole being is about being noticed. You’ll only find them trying to impress with pompous speech and behaviours as long as there are plenty of people around to observe such bullshitery. They think themselves better than most others despite the fact that statistically this can rarely be the case.

The pretentious nerd is probably the worst form of pretentious being, their whole existence centred around snitchy misuse of the concepts of intelligence and culture. Instead of appreciating the very essence of life and seeing what the world has to offer they’ll lock themselves in their bedroom and fester whilst engaging in some kind of niche hobby. Emerging only when their own company becomes so stifling they even get bored of pleasuring themselves, they emerge armed with ammunition intended to try and make others feel stupid. It’s almost a form of bullying but because the nerd is craftier about their trade it’s the brute who snaps in the face of such provocation that’s the one roundly booed by society.

Frank Noon comments in ‘2082’ that ‘if anyone calls anyone else uncultured in my opinion that person is then instantly unintelligent. It means they can’t understand that some people have got different interests and views to themselves. The definition of cultured is something like to be enlightened and educated. If you then call someone uncultured you’re damning them for not being educated which is disgusting as it’s probably not their fault. Also that person might be more enlightened than you on subjects such as football and fried foods so you’re not as knowledgeable as them on those subjects. Who’s to say that being interested in art means you’re more cultured than someone interested in football, which is an art anyway in a sense. Whatever happened to real people, those with sincerity, honesty, people with a strength of character?’

Frank Noon is one of those people and if you want to follow his journey then now is the best time to jump on board, with ‘2082: The Chronicles Of Hope’, FREE to download on kindle until Monday 6th May. I feel a little pretentious even supposing that anyone might read this but if you do then please spread the word. Thanks

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

St George’s Day

St Georges Day. As I write this the sun is out so there’s every chance my face will be various shades of red and white, if so it won’t be by design. I’ll celebrate it by doing nothing different to the norm, apart from maybe using it as an excuse to up my tea intake for the day. See, i’ve never really understood patriotism or nationalism. When a concept divides people and teaches them to hate those that they don’t know or understand then I struggle to see its positive influence on society.

I feel lucky to live in the UK, I love and appreciate the fact that I was born here, would rather live nowhere else on the planet, and in no other generation than we do now. I think the UK has a soul that most other countries can’t match. I like our weather (it has character), our music is the best in the world (we never spawn and nurture megastars as sickly and twisted as the likes of Justin Bieber), I even like our transport system. Living in London you never have to wait more than 3 or 4 minutes at a bus stop, that’s pretty good, and then when you do get on the bus the average journey is awe-inspiring for those like me who like to dabble in the art of people-watching.

That’s another reason to love the UK, the people. I think there are more interesting characters per head of the population than in any other country in the world, and with those characters firing off against each other I think we’re also blessed with the best sense of humour in the world. I’m convinced we’re the only country who sends round millions of jokes the second the latest over-hyped celebrity dies. I think that’s an incredibly cool culture and is born out of the art of laughing in the face of adversity, something we seem to have perfected better than any other nation. It helps to give you strength, and it’s so much cooler and creditable to take strength from that instinctive attitude rather than from that other oh so divisive concept, a belief that an invisible man in the sky is looking out for us every step of the way.

My beef is this. For a lot of people St George’s Day is an excuse to spout about how they’re ‘proud’ to be British. I love the UK but feel no pride whatsoever in ‘being British’. Pride should surely be attained by achieving something – flying out of your mothers womb in a certain country doesn’t seem a notable achievement worthy of shouting about. The whole concept of National Pride spawns unanswerable questions, and that in itself usually indicates that the belief in question is largely misguided. Ask someone why they’re patriotic or why they’re proud to be British and it’d be almost impossible to receive a logical response. The fact that a lot of us don’t question why we hold certain beliefs suggests a level of brainwashing somewhere along the way. Indeed we’re pounded with the flagstick of our nation almost from birth and many go on to happily kill and die for their country, not questioning why they’re doing so and what their country actually means to them. As much as I love living in the UK I can’t imagine being in a position where that attachment to a flag means that I’d go to war. Even if you get carried away with the task in hand and merrily kill other human beings you’ll be left with images that will then torture you for the rest of your life, all this in the name of the owners of your country that care not a jot about you and will toss you to one side once your duty is done.

Half of the above views are mine, and half are courtesy of Frank Noon, the protagonist in ‘The Chronicles Of Hope’, a series of Political Fiction books featuring an atheist, visionary, humanitarian working-class genius politician. The first book, ‘2082’, is an Amazon bestseller with the eBook still 99p for a limited time. Please check it out here, my intention is merely to make people think and question everything a little more.

p.s. If any fervent nationalists read this and get agitated by the random use of ‘UK’, ‘English’ and ‘British’ as terms by which to describe my being, the fact is I genuinely don’t really know what all of them mean and constitute, and what’s more I couldn’t give a shit. Im just a poor red-headed man who happens to have been born in england.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

The Alternative Easter Message

It’s undeniable that Religion has restricted our growth as a species, it’s undeniable that over the years more people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason, and it’s undeniable that if these religious folk chose to love one another rather than an imaginary God the world would be a better place. That should be the simple Easter message right there but this week I’ve been challenged, by the mentally challenged ironically, and thus have to respond.

It’s not an unusual feeling to be challenged, we get challenged everywhere everyday. It’s a challenge to get out of bed, especially when it’s colder than Antarctica outside and you live in a basement flat where spiders goad you at every turn. It’s a challenge to work a toaster, especially when your eyes are yet to fully open and the said toaster is about 35 years old. The ATM machine challenges you, firing numerous questions at you like you’re its bitch whilst you’re still half asleep. You deal with it. Improvise, adapt, overcome is a good motto for such minor challenges.

If you challenge people’s beliefs however, they seem to get fabulously offended. This week I’ve been called a ‘gaytheist’ and told that if God doesn’t call going to punish me he will call coming back. It’d be easy to infer a link between the inability to use the English language properly and beliefs clearly lacking in intelligence, but, actually there’s no but, it’s just easy to make that link. What I’ve learnt is that these people are geniuses in the art of argument, given that their blind refusal to engage in reasoned debate only antagonizes and enrages their opponent further. This is my forum to respond and the Bible, clearly the most successful Science Fiction book of all time, would seem like the logical place to start. Though early sales of 2082 have been great you could multiply the influence of anything I ever write by an infinite number and still not get anywhere near the influence of that book.

In some ways you can see why. The Bible is incredibly well written, an epic masterpiece. Some of the proverbs in there are original, great and visionary. Also it’s given us so many great ideas and lessons on how to form a society, so we should be grateful for that. The depth of imagination involved in the fiction is also laudable. Imagining that there’s this invisible man in the sky, an invisible man who watches over us, a man with a list of ten things we shouldn’t do, that if we do any of these ten things we’ll go to hell, the depth in such character creation is commendable. From this good start though I think they then missed a trick, ‘they’ probably being the religious and political bigwigs who got together to write this masterpiece a few thousand years ago.

The God in the Old Testament is a jealous, petty, vindictive, misogynistic, homophobic, racist, genocidal bully. If they had just sharpened up this character development the legacy of religion and the path it set humanity onto could have been so different. We’ve got to assume that the intention of the mantra was to control people and keep them in line. Why then didn’t they make this God a nice humanitarian man? Or better still a woman, given that 99% of all the negativity in this world was established or initiated by men. We’ll probably never know the answer. Maybe they were evil visionaries who wanted the book to create divisions within society, keeping the little folk fighting amongst themselves, and thus allowing the rich and powerful to become even more rich and powerful. Or maybe that gives them too much credit, we were less intellectually advanced beings then than we are now (and now the majority need alcohol and money to enjoy their lives), so maybe their character creation was just naively inept and short-sighted. Regardless, neither scenario would’ve been positive, given that the intention and consequence of the book has been to brainwash and restrict the development of our species.

Nowadays the book wouldn’t have stood a chance of being published. Imagine if it’d been sent to a literary agent. They’d first highlight some of the glaring omissions in the story, the biggest that seemingly it just misses out the first hundred years, that the first few chapters don’t even seek to explain how god created the universe, I’m sure an agent would suggest it should be rewritten to take into account the timeline of evolution which is now is based on scientific facts. An astute agent’s next observation might be to highlight the unrealistic anomalies that feature in the book. The protagonist created homosexuals then banned homosexuality? He was an advocate of free will but told us exactly how to use it? He proposes thou shalt not kill as a commandment but seems to allow exceptions for witches, homosexuals, heathen enemies, muslims, slaves, the adulterous, rebellious kids, and blasphemers?

I’m boring myself with this rhetoric. Given that you only live once for 80 odd years Jean Paul Sartre probably had the right idea, a man so thoroughly atheist that he believed the whole subject of God to be beneath discussion. Fuck Religion, just enjoy your life, do what you want as long as it hurts no one else, and be kind to people, there’s the alternative Easter message. There’s more goodness at the heart of that than the intent of all Ten Commandments put together.

p.s. Frank Noon is a revolutionary, atheist, visionary, working class genius of a politician. He is wiser than God, kinder than God, and more real than God given that there must still be some hope that a politician of his ilk will come along one day and change the world. 2082, the first book in The Chronicles Of Hope series, has been out for a month and is still in the Amazon bestseller list. The eBook is still 99p and I’m fighting to keep it that way, with the intention merely to make people think and question everything more. Please spread the word.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

All About The Intent

As ‘2082’ sits in the Amazon sci-fi top 10 eBook chart (a great start, thanks to all who have bought and spread the word), I thought I’d write a little piece about where the books were born from and the intention behind them. This is going to involve talking about myself which I’m still not overly comfortable doing, so apologies if I copy and paste bits out of my cringeworthy author bio’s along the way.

I’m still a local Government officer in London, and about three years ago I started writing these books. After receiving B.A. degrees in History and Politics my excitement at moving to London gradually began to wane as I found myself a monotonous cog in the government system. Seeing how that world works from the inside initially manifested itself as searing cynicism and spawned a disappointed, and annoying, idealist. One day at work a few years ago an inner spark fired (the flint being extreme boredom) that fuelled putting pen to paper.

The ideas for the characters came first. I was sat on the tube one day and glanced opposite. The man sat opposite had silver hair swept into a side parting, a smart briefcase, long beige mackintosh, and was reading a copy of the financial times. He glanced up occasionally to genuinely sneer and flash dirty looks at an unkempt looking black man opposite him. Unfairly but instinctively, in my head I ripped this pompous racist apart, myself probably guilty of stereotyping as much as him.

The whole scenario got me thinking about stereotypical characters and made me think that the most interesting characters I know are those who don’t fit a set stereotype. That became the basis behind the ideas for most of the characters in ‘2082’, with the government project a totalitarian one based on a personality machine. With several recent revelations about how the government and social media sites are collecting this very data, it isn’t hard to see how such information could potentially be misused in future and make this a realistic concept. In the face of intergalactic contact you’d have to assume that our leaders would cope with it in the most short-sighted and misguided way possible, given that this is how they’ve dealt with most quandaries over the last few hundred years.

The Chronicles of Hope series of books is just that, a story of hope. Without giving too much away it’s ultimately a utopian vision of a hopeful future for humanity. The intention behind the books is merely to challenge people’s beliefs and make people think and question everything, and i’ll probably be losing money on this first book when advertising costs are totted up. I’ve genuinely never been motivated by money, I don’t subscribe to the theory that it brings happiness, but I do understand that having none will often bring unhappiness if it stops you having the lifestyle you want to have. Fortunately my income and circumstances to that end have always been very middle of the road, something that feels like a privilege in this world we live in.

I think the Che Guevara in me hopes that the more people think and the more people work out that we’re owned by the world’s leaders and have no say in society, the closer the world might come to some kind of uprising and revolution. Despite that, there’s no great moral message at the core of the books, I’m well aware that the pile of shit is probably too deep now for such change. My hope is loosely that more people thinking about some of the issues raised could lead to more people refusing to accept the failings of the society in which we live. Either way, we only live once so the logical conclusion is probably just to look for the humour in such situations that we have no control over changing.

I’ll endeavour to keep the 1st book in The Chronicles of Hope, ‘2082’, at 99p or less in eBook format for the foreseeable future. Thanks for reading.

T2HQHK7YPQWD

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment